I can’t prove it, but your fragmented attention is stealing decades of your life.
Many people feel this intuitively. My lived experiences from 8-18 years old feel much slower, fuller and richer than my lived experiences from 18-28 years old. We are constantly flooded with notifications and information, but we are not talking enough about how it’s getting more addicting and invasive year over year.
It takes your brain about 23 seconds to fully engage with any new piece of information, but the average person switches attention on their phone every 6-8 seconds.
Phone time creates partial exposure to thousands of tiny memories, but they are hazy because your brain never could process them into full memories. This is why you have trouble recalling what you actually watched after scrolling social media. This is also why you draw a blank when someone asks you, “what did you do today?”
Hours, days, weeks, and months start to become a total blur.
How to Slow it Down
When I think back to my favorite moments — they all share one thing in common — full immersion.
For children with no phones and no real responsibilities, full immersion was the default state. For adults with phones and a responsibility to engage with the world, full immersion is earned through discipline.
I’ve tried blocking social media, turning off my phone, removing notifications and apps, but none of these solutions truly work if you want to engage with the world personally and professionally.
The best solution I’ve found so far is to treat my calendar as sacred. Each task, like writing this essay, has a clear start and finish, and before moving onto the next project or activity, I reflect on progress and decide if, when, and how I will continue the project.
Accept now that this does not work perfectly. Don’t let the tool stress you out. Remember that the purpose is not the tool — it’s to live your life to the fullest extent possible.